Monday, 4 August 2014
TPE versus 'bedroom' submissive
Today's comments are about living the lifestyle 24/7 (some call it Total Power Exchange or TPE), versus what others call a ‘bedroom’ submissive or a ‘scene’ submission. I have met some amazing couples who live TPE and it works perfectly (for them). The Dominant comes home from work and the submissive serves him or her like a King or Queen. Some live it openly, some privately. They live their daily lives around the clock with a power exchange always there. For me personally, I don’t want that. Never did. I prefer what is often called a ‘bedroom’ submissive. That doesn’t mean that sex is literally restricted to the bedroom...it just means the power exchange happens during sexual play, not 24/7.
Day to day we live like other couples, but when it’s time for sex, I become Dominant, and she becomes submissive. For example, decisions such as where we go for vacation, whether to buy a car or not, which movie to see, etc., are all made jointly. Both opinions equally valid. If we discuss politics, or friends, or anything – our opinions carry the same weight. She is not submissive to me with matters that relate to finances, family, children, careers, etc. She is only submissive to me sexually.
In my case, this has worked best when I, as the dominant, can turn on the power exchange simply by using a certain tone-of-voice. We might be driving the car on a long road trip, and I will suddenly say “put your seat back, put your legs up on the dash and get those fucking panties off.” With nothing more than a tone of voice we instantly transition into play mode. We might be in a restaurant, and I will look over and whisper, “you dirty little slut, I bet you could finger-fuck yourself right here, and no one would notice.” We are immediately in play mode. I might randomly call her from the office and say, “bring yourself to the very brink of orgasm three times in the next hour, but don’t you dare cum.” My tone of voice does it all. Lastly, of course, anything and everything that happens in the bedroom is controlled by the dominant.